Of all the personality traits, confidence may be most highly correlated with success. In business, it helps a person take risks and pursue opportunities. And compared with insecure people, those who are confident are perceived as more attractive and tend to have a larger circle of high-quality relationships.
What is it about confidence that’s so enticing? First off, it’s important to make distinctions about what confidence is not. It’s not cockiness or a sense of being better than others. Rather, it’s a quiet belief in one’s own ability without the hubris that results in arrogance. Here are the kinds of things you’ll hear truly confident people say.
- “I wouldn’t worry about it.”
Go to a confident friend with a list of “what-ifs” or reasons why something may turn out badly and you’ll likely hear this kind of reassurance. It’s because confident people generally don’t worry. They understand that even if something goes wrong, they can handle it. It’s the persistent feeling that regardless of what happens–good or bad–they will cope.
- “Go for it.”
Along with a lack of anxiety comes a sense of optimism. Truly confident people expect good things to happen. At the same time, their track record of making good decisions means they also possess the ability to temper their positivity with realistic thinking.
- “Doing it this way works for me.”
Confident individuals don’t feel compelled to conform to gain acceptance from others. This is the central beauty of confidence–the calm self-assurance that makes others want to follow.
- “Why not me?”
Instead of waiting around for the next opportunity, confident people seek it out. Maybe it’s building the right relationships, asking for a promotion or otherwise taking a leap of faith. These people have a vision for the future and chart their own path to get there.
- “I need to say something.”
Confident people take a stand when it comes to matters of right and wrong yet possess the wisdom to understand which battles are worth fighting. That said, they’ll back down graciously if proved wrong, because they’re secure enough to consider viewpoints other than their own.
- “Tell me more.”
Confident people listen far more than they talk, are naturally curious, and express a genuine interest in others. Conversely, those who monopolize conversations or brag (ever) have something to prove and are masking insecurity.
- “Can you help me?”
Everyone has weaknesses, but the self-assured are not afraid to admit them. Instead of worrying what others will think if they ask for help, confident people are more concerned with self-improvement, gaining valuable skills, and performing a job well.